


Calm

by Cottonstones



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cottonstones/pseuds/Cottonstones
Summary: Ross is anxious about his animation skills and Barry tries his best to calm his boyfriend down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the polygrumps secret santa exchange!

Ross sighs and sets his tablet pen down on the desk. He leans back in his chair and rubs the heel of his palm against his eye. His head aches and right now Ross can’t imagine looking at the screen in front of him again. He feels like he’s been working on this same three minutes of animation for hours. He’s used to logging time on his work, of spending far too long hunched over his Cintiq tablet as he goes through the motions of drawing for Gameoverse. The difference between every other time and now is that right now he doesn’t feel confident in his skills. 

Ross isn’t sure why but lately nothing has felt right. His drawings feel strange to him, like his hand isn’t his own, like his talent has left him. He feels like he’s struggling more than usual. It all sets his stomach on edge. What if he pours all this time, money, and energy into the cartoon and it’s no good? What if no one likes it and he’s just wasted time he could have spent on better things, things people _did_ like. 

He pushes away from his desk, rolling backwards a bit. Ross can feel himself spiraling into self-doubt, into anxiety. He’s worried about disappointing people, the fans, Arin, Holly, anyone who put faith into him and his creations. What if he just lost the knack for drawing? For creating? What good would he be anymore? 

“Ross?” he hears Barry say from somewhere behind him. 

Ross’s face grows hot under his palms and now he really doesn’t want to look up. He had forgotten that Barry was still here, recording some Steam Train episodes with Brian. 

“Hey,” Ross says, his voice muffled under his palms. 

There are footsteps and Ross is aware he’s not doing a very good job of hiding the fact that something is wrong. Barry is freakishly good at reading him and his emotions on the best of days, but right now Ross might as well be giving Barry a huge red flag that something is up with him today. 

Ross feels the touch of Barry’s hand on his wrist, warm and slightly rough fingertips stroking over the thin skin in a calming circular motion. Ross sighs behind the shield of his hands, the damp air rushing back at his already heated face. 

“You gonna tell me what’s up?” Barry asks. His voice is neutral and soft. He doesn’t sound overly concerned which is good, Ross doesn’t want to worry Barry at all. 

“Do I have to?” Ross asks. 

“No, I guess not, but I’d like to help if I can.” 

Ross can’t fight Barry, he never can. He’s a sucker for those sea glass eyes, that gentle bearded smile, shit man, he’s just head over heels for Barry in general. When he’s sad Ross has a habit of needing attention, being reminded that there are people who love him; he needs that affection. 

It’s easy for him to move his hands away from his face and peer up at Barry, his fuzzy face upside down with how he’s standing behind Ross. 

“I’m overworked maybe…or just…I don’t know.” 

Barry’s gaze flickers to the computer screen in front of them, Ross’s abandoned animation sitting on display, and Ross feels that flicker of nerves. Barry would never judge him, never insult his work, but he feels vulnerable with it just sitting out in the open for Barry to see. 

His eyes drift back down to Ross, “Gameoverse?” 

Ross nods, frowning, “Yeah, I just…I’m having a hard time with it.” 

“It’s not coming out how you want?” Barry asks, the entire time his tone is that same gentle hush, that quiet lilt that pulls Ross in and makes him want to sink into the sound. 

“It’s that, but I also just feel like I suck, you know? I feel like I don’t know how to draw anymore. What if I’ve peaked?” 

“Ross,” Barry says. His hands spin the chair that Ross is sitting in so that Ross circles around to face the other man, “You’re insanely talented, man. Don’t say that.” 

Ross shrugs, “I’m serious! What if I just lost my skills? What if I’m burnt out and can’t finish the show?” All of Ross’s fears come leaping to the forefront of his mind, to his tongue, and he can’t hide them or quiet them down. It comes out in a rush of words that he spills all over Barry. 

“Arin will _hate_ me. The fans will _hate_ me. I’ll have let everyone down!” 

“Alright, time to move from the tablet,” Barry says softly. He takes both of Ross’s wrists in his hands and tugs Ross up and out of his seat. As soon as Ross is standing Barry has an arm winding around his waist, squeezing a little as he leads Ross to the nearby couch. 

They drop down on the nearest cushion together, Barry’s arm sliding up behind Ross’s neck, curling over his shoulders, his other hand seeking out Ross’s own, lacing their fingers together. 

“You’re not letting anyone down,” Barry says, “Not Arin, not the fans.” 

“But-“ Ross starts, feeling tense and sick, his stomach aching and his neck stiff and sore. He feels rattled. He feels like a fucking mess, even with Barry’s words. 

“No buts,” Barry reiterates, firmer this time. He tugs at Ross until his body is almost sideways and Ross is lying with his top half spread over Barry’s lap. Barry’s hand finds Ross’s hair and he runs thick fingers through the strands, his nails scratching lightly at Ross’s scalp, “I just want you to relax.” 

Ross closes his eyes but he nods. He knows he needs to calm down, that he’s working himself up. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this anxious, since his mind has bounced around inside his skull like a rubber ball with no escape route. 

“My very worst fear is the thought that I’m running myself into the ground for nothing. That all this hard work won’t pay off.” 

“It’ll pay off,” Barry says. His fingers carding through Ross’s hair, “I can’t promise you that everything will be perfect, but I love what you’ve made and I know the fans will too. Even if it doesn’t pay off in the way you hoped, if Gameoverse isn’t the next _Steven Universe_ or something, it will still have been worthwhile, you’ll still gain from it, Ross.” 

Barry knows Ross’s fears, carries them deep inside like they were his own and Ross appreciates the sharing of the burden. It’s the same thing he tries to do for Barry. If his boyfriend is stressed about an idea, a project, an episode he thinks could be better, Ross tries to soothe those fears just as Barry is doing for him now. 

With his eyes still closed and his head pillowed on the warm and slightly scratchy denim of Barry’s jean covered thigh, Ross whispers his second biggest fear. 

“What if I let _you_ down?” 

The hand in Ross’s hair stills and Ross swallows, nerves filling him up. 

Barry’s hands shift on his body, they move from Ross’s hair and arms and they find Ross’s face instead, cupping his cheeks and tilting his head so he’s looking straight up at Barry. 

Ross opens his eyes and sees Barry staring down at him with warm eyes, his eyebrow furrowed in a serious expression. 

“Ross, you could _never_ let me down. I’ll always be proud of you. I don’t want you to ever be afraid of that.” 

Ross knows he’s being silly, that he’s acting a bit like a needy baby, but Barry’s confirmation of what Ross already feels day-to-day in their relationship is nice, it makes relief flood through him. Ross reaches up and places his hand over Barry’s, pressing Barry’s palm firmer against Ross’s face. 

“You’re incredible, talented and funny, and you blow me away every single day, Ross. That’s why I love you.” 

“You love me?” Ross asks almost timidly, smiling against Barry’s hands. 

Barry rolls his eyes, “You know that I do. I tell you that all the time, don’t act surprised.” 

“I know, I just like hearing it.” 

Barry snorts and he shifts until he can lean down and press his lips to Ross’s. Ross tries to help by leaning up on his elbows, his mouth sliding dry and sweet against Barry’s. Already he can feel his sour mood slipping away, fading into a dim pulse in his blood. Barry has that effect on him. Barry always seems to be able to make anything better. 

“You feeling more like yourself now?” Barry asks as he pulls away. 

Ross nods, fidgeting with the edge of Barry’s sleeve, “Yeah, but I’m not ready to go back to work yet. Can you stay and cuddle with me for a little while?” 

“I’ll text Brian and tell him I’m taking a fifteen-minute break,” Barry says, digging into his jeans pocket for his phone, “He’ll probably give me shit for it the rest of the session.” 

“That’s just the jealousy talking.” 

Barry laughs as he taps out a text to Brian. Ross sighs and melts into Barry’s lap. He closes his eyes and listens to the ticking of Barry’s fingers on his phone, then Barry’s hand is back in his hair, weaving into the strands to resume the gentle carding motion he had been doing earlier. 

This was good. This was just what Ross needed to relax. More and more he found comfort in Barry, found all good things led back to his amazing boyfriend. Ross couldn’t complain when he felt this safe and this loved, when Barry was right there to support him every single time he fell. 

“Love you, Bar,” Ross murmurs, his speech lazy with how comfortable he is.

Barry hums from above Ross, “I love you too, Ross.”


End file.
